Getting trapped in the drama of our lives blinds us from reality and seeing the simplicity in the moment. As I'm writing this on the rooftop deck of my friend's apartment complex, I'm amazed at the beauty of your day (pictures included). To my right is Lake Michigan and the sandy shore line that hugs it. Facing me, is the view of John Hancock and the Magnificent Mile. A carpet of green trees and bright rooftops lay below. A blue sunny sky looms above. A white bikini clad young woman lies to my right, sunning on a black wrought iron chaise three chairs over. I really could observe how easy it is always to be so trapped in the events of my life that even the serenity and wonderment of such views could be overshadowed by drama's stories, grieves and hurts.Dramacool
The difficult and painful events which have occurred in our past and our fears about the near future blurs our vision and keeps us stuck in a quagmire of deceit. So trapped are we in the drama of our lives that individuals quite often fail to notice how blue is the sky or green will be the trees approximately white is the bikini. Our anatomies might physically be in the "here and now" but our minds definitely are not.
Drama binds us to the past and holds our future captive. We tend to trust that our responses to recent events are derived from present feelings when in fact they represent unfinished, unresolved and uncompleted emotions. We often don't see that drama keeps us in the condition of the past within our present. Kept limited by our dramas, we never heal and we never grow. What we can study on new experiences never present themselves because we dilute the lesson with drama.
A crisis is really a deep and very personal story of what the "event" designed to us. It is definitely an engineered story of the "what is" by providing the "what is" a personal meaning. An illustration: imagine you're driving down the expressway at a safe speed. Someone in a sports vehicle races behind you, quickly swerves to your lane and manages to cut you off before driving away. The truth of "what is" is that someone is speeding and quickly swerves into your lane. The non-public story or drama which you created at that time could be "Exactly what a jackass! He must think I'm driving too slow and that I'm not just a good enough driver. At this moment we take the event personally. Another reality: your better half walks away from the marriage. Your drama is: "I'm unworthy of love" or "I can't trust anybody anymore, I'll just get hurt again if I remarry."
How we can "grow" away from drama is to recognize the difference between what is reality and what is drama. The truth is just an event separate from any emotions (I got fired from my job / I obtained divorced). Drama is our personal story, the reason why, we make-up of how the event affects us and what it methods to our lives (My boss is really a real jackass / I'm unlovable). We always want to create meaning in everything that takes place in our lives. Healing and growing starts by understanding the difference between what is reality and what is fiction and then just accepting the event since it is (I no further have a job) with no drama.
I am aware easier said then done. Often times it's in the story and the private meaning behind it that produces life interesting but once the story repeats itself time and time again in an endless cycle, the event never dies. It consistently repeats itself in similar situations despite years of the original occurrence; old feelings of hurt are resurrected. (I text her but she didn't text back. She must not like me and anyone who doesn't text me right me straight away later on must mean they don't love me as well. Love blows!). Drama doesn't allow us to grow into mature experienced adults rather we remain emotionally stagnant at the age it's occurrence.
The dramas in our lives are manufactured by made-up untrue beliefs while denial shrouds the true issues. We reach awaken from the drama when we accept the truth that we have the greatest power to turn around our lives. If we are able to create negative thoughts and emotions then we're also able to make a positive spin on a single event. Change the idea and emotions into something positive which will empower us and inspire others and subsequently we reach restore control in our lives. By accepting the event as what it is will free us from the emotional bond since it demonstrates that only our jobs or relationships are ending and not our lives. This can be carried out by writing out a listing of what is happening without attaching the emotions associated with it. In case of losing employment your list might include:
1. I have been fired
2. I no further have employment
3. I must find a new job
4. I haven't any income
5. I've little savings
After reading over your notes and removing all the drama or unworthiness, fear, blame and guilt can disappear. The reality have presented itself in ways as you are able to address each issue to create solutions that you can now handle and benefit from. Acceptance will permit you to detach from the drama so that you will have the ability to see your lifetime separate from the emotions as fear and any negativity is washed away. You become some other observer in the events allowing you to effectively, clearly and without any judgments control of your reactions and your life.
In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, acceptance is one of many big creeds that enable its members to higher handle their lives. In it, it states: "Acceptance is the answer to any or all my problems today. When I'm disturbed, it is because I find some person, place or thing, or situation -some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I will find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation to be precisely the way it is supposed to be only at that moment."
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